Smoking can bring people together and introduce us to all kinds of personalities we wouldn’t have met otherwise. Yet, sometimes there’s a few distinct types of people that we’re not the most happy to have in our group, but who will pop up without a doubt. Scroll down to see if you’ve met the 8 Types of Smokers You’re Sure to Encounter - or to prepare yourself for when you inevitably do!
Sharing is caring, especially among friends when having a group smoking session. But there always seems to be that one person who takes and takes but never offers up anything to the circle when the whole gang gets together. Yet, that person is always miraculously present when they hear that lighter spark. No contributions, no throwing down a few bucks, no nothing. Once or twice, whatever, who cares. But after about three to four hang outs of this nonsense, your unrequited generosity turns into a resentment that can really bring down the whole group.
In a similar vein of the mooching freeloader, there’s also the double-up doofus that does not seem to know the “puff, puff, pass” rule. If you’re sharing smoking supplies, it’s well-known smoker etiquette that you take a drag or two and pass it over. And then there’s that guy who disregards this silent statute and hogs the pipe until you’re just staring at it sadly, wishing it would come back. *Sigh*
The Paranoid Polly
Smoking usually soothes the anxiety, giving you a break from the day to unwind and take it easy. So watch out for anyone who has a tendency to freak out or amp up the anxiety of themselves and everyone around them. We all have a moment or two of being weird or letting our own worries rise to the surface, but if someone is so intense that their stress and paranoia is making everyone else uncomfortable, maybe have them take a beat away from the group hangouts. Bad vibes are contagious, ain’t nobody got time for that.
The Modern-Day Socrates
One of the best aspects of smoking with friends is the interesting conversations that arise. But there’s a difference between inspiring musings shared with giggles and one-of-a-kind thoughts, and the one in the corner trying to make everything a commentary on the death of morality and how everything flows but nothing stands still and what is the meaning of life if there even is one. Sure these are OK topics for one conversation, but look out for that friend who takes it up a notch and starts to sound like a never-ending walking, talking Philosophy 101 class. If you find one of these smokers in your circle, do not hesitate to tell them to let it go and lighten that mess up.
Alright, there’s a difference between someone who really doesn’t know what they’re doing, and that girl your friend brought to the group who “just doesn’t know what they’re doing.” Despite you having smoked with this person before, they have to ask how to hold the bong and insist someone else light it for them as they pull. And you just know they’re full of it. You always want to call out this person, but for some reason you can't. So if this person is you, just chill and cut it out.
The One Who Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop
You thought you liked smoking, until you met this person. This is the kind of smoker who never seems to stop smoking and just “loves it so much” that they will literally not shut up about it the whole time you’re hanging out. It’s like a dramatic performance. They’re feeling it, giggling like a weirdo, asking meta questions, totally having the time of their life. You would honestly be a little jealous at the ladder if they weren’t being such an annoying, attention-grabbing fool.
The Human Torch
Is there anything worse than prepping the bowl or bong for you and your friends, only to have one of them incinerate the entire thing in the first round. It’s a waste and a real downer, and honestly completely inconsiderate! Use the smoker code of conduct, corner that bowl pack, and teach your friends to do the same!
The Rotation Rogue
Often times the storyteller of the group, the one who can’t help but get distracted as the conversation shifts or as more people are welcomed into the mix. There’s not really a huge negative to being around this kind of smoker, unless you’re a stickler for rotation rules or you accidentally get skipped. On the plus side, if you were the one that handed it off and they mistakenly hand it back to you, you get a couple extra drags...there are worse things!